By Your Side
by JanieZ
Summary: Sometimes even the strongest need someone to lean on. RivaMika


**This was originally written for Rivamikaweek in Summer 2014 (has it been this long already?!) but I never really got around to post it. Takes place sometime after Eren & Historia have been captured. This also means, though, that the newest developments of the Manga are not taken into account. For that I apologize in advance. Nevertheless, please enjoy. Reviews are always appreciated ;)**

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The mission hadn't turned out as intended.

In fact, it'd left them bloodied and bruised, with their confidence shattered and each tending to their own wounds in the corners of their makeshift shelter. Whether it was physical or emotional, no one had really left the scene unscratched and it was troubling Mikasa greatly that they'd been played so badly. That they'd even managed to escape had been a lucky shot in and on itself. It made her wonder what else these people had in store for them, and briefly she feared for the future. Not only for Eren's and Historia's, who were now in the hands of those monsters, but for everyone else's as well.

Though Eren was her primary concern, Mikasa couldn't help but feel that this whole situation would be a turning point for all people living inside these walls.

They needed a new plan, _fast_. One those MP's wouldn't be able to read quite so easily. That's why, hours later, they were still anxiously waiting for word of Commander Erwin or Major Hanji, in hopes to work out how they should proceed. They could no longer rely on only Captain Levi's plan, especially since the enemy had been able to flawlessly see through his every move. It had been quite a shocker to all of them, neither having anticipated this turn of events.

By the time everyone had calmed down somewhat, night had fallen and most of her squad had gone to at least try and get some rest. The next few days were going to be hard and strenuous; they needed to be at their full strength.

Even so, sleep seemed to evade her and so, in order to calm her raging nerves and pass the time until their arrival, the young woman had ventured to the small kitchen to brew herself some tea. And maybe make some for her Captain as well, since he was the only other person usually up at this hour.

It had become a ritual of sorts, for the two of them to sit together; sometimes they even conversed briefly as they sipped the hot beverage. The silence that followed was mostly comfortable as they retracted back to their own thoughts afterwards. Yet Mikasa would even go as far as admitting, albeit grudgingly, that she kind of enjoyed his company.

Upon entering the room, however, she found it empty and with no sign of her superior. Well, that was strange, she mused. He was usually one of the last to leave, and first to rise. She felt a slight pang in her chest, and her eyebrows furrowed when she realized that part of her actually missed his presence. Shrugging off the weird sensation, she continued unperturbed, making her way further to the kitchen counter.

She found the teapot and the cup she'd seen earlier in one of the few cupboards without much problem and continued with her preparations. Going through the familiar motions of boiling water and setting up the leaves for later gave her some sense of normalcy the past few days had lacked, and found herself almost craving the evenings where all of them were still together, goofing off.

Taking a leave, she began plucking it with her fingers as she leaned against the counter to wait for her water to be done, and with nothing else to do she let her thoughts wander.

Their retreat had left a bitter taste of defeat in her mouth. Why weren't they stronger? Why wasn't _she_? She'd trained so hard, fought so many battles and still – it hadn't been enough.

Only, deep down she knew there was nothing she could have done. None of them had known about the anti-human 3DMG, and they'd had a difficult time fending it off as it was, having been extremely lucky that they'd only received scratches.

Hanji's squad, on the other hand, hadn't been so fortunate.

And when not even Captain Levi, Humanity's Strongest, had been able to defeat them on his own, which chance did any of them stand against them?

Mikasa balled her fists, effortlessly crushing the leaves in her hand. It made her feel helpless, something she hadn't felt since the fall of Wall Maria, and now with Armin still traumatized and Eren gone, there was no one left to comfort her. Suddenly she felt awfully alone again, reminded of the first time she'd lost her home. Their blood – god, so much blood – still heavy on her tongue even after all this time.

The shrill sound of the teapot startled her slightly, signaling the end of her musings as she quickly turned around to take it off the stove. As she went to retrieve a tea cup, however, she stopped short, noticing for the first time the figure sitting just a few feet away from their temporary home. One, she'd recognize anywhere.

There, illuminated by the moonlight sat Captain Levi. Knee drawn to his chest and his arm propped on it leisurely, he kept staring at the sky, his grey eyes glowing an eerie blue in the shine of the moon.

He was already dotting clean clothes and from her spot behind the window, the wounds on his face seemed cleaned up and tended to. The usual cravat was absent from its place around his neck still, as it had been for the past days and dimly Mikasa wondered what had happened to it, before discarding that thought. Why did she even care?

For a moment her gaze kept switching between her freshly made tea and the man settled just outside, unsure whether or not she should approach him. Maybe he needed some time to himself and didn't want to be disturbed. Maybe she should leave him alone. But when she caught the expression on his face, so afflicted and distraught, her feet were moving on its own.

Decision made, she took another cup and her teapot and placed them on a wooden tray, before slowly making her way over to where he was resting.

The older man didn't seem all that surprised by her presence, only frowning once she came into view. Mikasa pursed her lips, annoyed at the slight flutter in her chest when his gaze met hers for a second. A feeling that wasn't entirely unwelcome as it was unfamiliar.

He grumbled audibly, his voice gruff as he addressed her, but even that lacked his usual bite.

"Ackerman," he sighed exasperated, pinching the bridge of his nose but didn't make any indication for her to leave.

Seeing that as a sign to continue she left her spot at the door to come and sit beside him. The tea set clattered as she set it on the ground between them, leaving enough space for both to move about freely, before she lowered herself to a comfortable position, her knees pulled to her chest.

Neither spoke a word, not even as she took the pot to fill both cups with the steaming liquid. Feeling awkward, she decided to break the uncomfortable silence. "Do you want some tea, Sir?" she asked almost timidly as she extended one of the cups over to him.

Levi only grunted, but took the offered cup anyway. He didn't meet her eyes though. It unnerved her; he was never one to shy away from her gaze, if all their staring contests in the past were any proof; and her onyx eyes softened with mild concern as she gazed at him from under her lashes.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" he asked her while taking a sip.

Shrugging, she felt it best not to answer, taking a gulp of her own drink instead. A content sigh left her lips as the warm liquid ran down her throat soothingly.

"This stuff tastes like shit." She heard his low voice mutter under his breath, but still watched him take another drag regardless.

"It was the only one available, Sir." She gave him a sharp look over the rim of her cup, but he only turned away with a _tch_ and a scowl on his face. It was almost endearing.

They both fell silent after that and she took her sweet time to scrutinize him now that he was up close. Eyes narrowed, she drew in his slumped shoulders, the way his body was tensed despite his seemingly calm exterior. He looked exhausted, the fatigue was clearly written all over his face.

When had been the last time he'd had a proper night of sleep? It must've been a while with all that was happening lately.

The dark circles under his eyes shone even more prominent in the gleam of the moonlight, and not for the first time that night Mikasa wondered if there wasn't more to this whole Military Police situation than he led on. Levi had been awfully aloof ever since returning and it kind of threw her off the loop. Not that he was usually one to talk much, but as soon as they'd arrived he'd retreated to clean his wounds alone, not to be seen again for the remainder of the night.

Then, her eyes lingered on his scars. They looked better now that they'd been treated, but would most likely be permanent. It almost reminded her of her own resting on her cheek, one she'd gotten in a similar manner.

Distantly she heard a surprised growl coming from him, and she blinked, suddenly being awfully close to her Captain.

"What the…?" he grunted in disbelief, eyes wide in shock. Only then did she notice that her hands had reached out to trace the cut on his cheek.

Embarrassment flushed through her at a heavy pace, and she could feel the dark red blush blooming on her cheeks, realizing she'd not only been caught staring but also touching her superior without permission.

But when she moved to retract her fingers he caught her wrist, holding it in place.

It was warm upon her skin, lulling her in deeply, because she barely noticed the words fleeing her mouth as she thumbed the wound absentmindedly. "Does it still hurt?"

Levi's fingers fluttered against her quickening pulse, but as soon as the sensation had come it was gone again.

"No."

He let go of her hand, his eyes averted once more, leaving her with a feeling of emptiness she couldn't quite place. Her hand fell back into her lap again, gripping the tea cup tightly while inwardly cursing herself for her boldness.

When he spoke again his voice was low and even. "They are wary of me." At the confused look on her face he decided to elaborate. "Kirchstein and Springer, even Braus. They don't trust me."

Fingers traced the edge of the tea cup, but she avoided looking at him, only glancing at him occasionally. The change of topic threw her out of her mortification, now bringing an altogether more serious edge into their conversation.

"You're right. They don't."

Mikasa didn't know what to say; they never openly talked about personal feelings, unless he was taunting her about Eren. She figured it must've plagued him for some time now if he was talking to her of all people and decided to ease his mind, if at least a little.

"Armin…," no that wasn't right, she thought. They both knew Armin was just as willing to go through with their plan as she was. She amended. "The others… they may be shocked right now, but they'll realize that you're the best chance we got if we want to get them back."

He glimpsed at her then, brazenly, surprised at her honest answer. His gaze was curious, as if trying to figure out something that had been hidden from him all along. There was urgency in his eyes, a need to know as he inquired. "But you're not. Shocked, I mean. Don't you blame me for making you kill these people?"

She lowered her head. "I don't," and suddenly the contents of her cup seemed so much more interesting. "Your methods may be a little unconventional sometimes, but if you hadn't been there, none of us would have made it this far. We won't make it without your guidance, Levi."

It slipped past her tongue unconsciously, as if having wanted to escape for so long, and he appeared just as dazzled as she was. Levi was obviously flustered and she blushed at the gawking look on his face.

As if realizing her mistake, she quickly added "Sir."

Cobalt eyes regarded her for a moment longer, searching. Amused, the corner of his mouth twitched into a sly smirk at her obvious discomfort. "At ease, Mikasa."

There it was again, that irritating flutter whenever his eyes met hers directly. And that damned smile… she'd never seen him smile before, much less directed at her. The effect it had on her was immediate as thousands of butterflies erupted in her belly.

Mikasa wasn't quite sure what to make of him. He wasn't her friend, that was certain, but she couldn't say she only saw him as her squad leader either. She admired him, for his strength and for his level-headedness; she'd even go as far to say she respected him. But lately, there was another feeling deep in the pit of her stomach, something that told her that he wasn't as shallow as she made him out to be. Something that undeniably drew her to him, and which she wasn't sure she liked or not.

She glanced at him sideways, unsure.

"Levi…" His name sounded breathy on her lips even to her own ears. "We're taking them down," she ground out, her voice resolute. "Next time they'll have to face the both of us."

Stunned, his steel blue eyes widened at her sudden outburst. But he regained his composure quickly enough, clearing his throat.

"Fighting them isn't the same as fighting titans, Mikasa. It won't be that easy."

She scuffed her chin out, defiantly. "I know." What did he take her for? She wasn't a child.

"Aren't you afraid?"

Her black hair was whirling about her as she shook her head, fingers still fidgeting in her lap. But this time, a small smile was grazing her lips. "You're with me. There's no reason to be afraid."

Even if she couldn't see his expression in that moment, view concealed by dark hair, she was sure there was a slight grin of his own on his face.

The rest of the night was spent in rather comfortable silence, either relishing in the softness they'd come to establish between them. And as it drew to a close, the last thing she felt before falling into a dreamless sleep, were the tender swiping motions of fingers against her forearm and the soft brush of lips against her hairline.


End file.
